Tuesday, March 29, 2011

KT's Refinishing School Spring Break: Long Distance Loving

Today {av} from Long Distance Loving will be sharing with us some tips on dating long distance, which is very appropriate considering the first of many times J and I dated long distance was during our Spring Break sophomore year!

{av} has a wonderful blog that covers everything from dating tips to her favorite accessories. She is the genius behind Friday's Fancies which allows you to opportunity to put together dream outfits without spending a penny. I visit her blog often for a daily dose of inspiration! Without further ado, here she is...

Hi! My name is {av}--and I'm the voice behind {long distance loving}
I was so happy KT asked me to blog in her absence!

My husband, {cv}, and I started dating in August 2005. We had nine wonderful months together while we were both students at Georgetown. {cv} graduated in May 2006 and we made the long distance commitment before I left to study abroad in France that summer. He was headed to North Carolina for work and I still had another year of school. Even though we were in totally different places in our lives, we managed to overcome the differences because of the love we shared--with a little help from what I've deemed as the most important long distance accessory: the phone.

{left columntop middle bottom ~ right columntop middle middle bottom}
Our long distance days started with the Atlantic Ocean between us, while I was on a super tight student budget. Talking on the phone wasn't easy and the six-hour time difference took its toll on us. He was working until midnight in North Carolina and I had class by 8:00am in France. This meant we typically talked when he was on his way home from the office, right around the time I was getting up for class. It wasn't ideal. I was barely coherent in our conversations because I had just woken up. I was constantly worried I would miss his call, so I didn't sleep well all summer. Let's also not forget he was exhausted after a long day of work. All these things combined? Not that much fun.

However, that summer helped us realize something very important: if we could make our relationship work with an ocean between us {coupled with a six-hour time difference}, we could make it through anything. The phone remained an important extension of myself throughout the remaining 34 months of long distance. I've been asked on a number of occasions how we made it work. Though I'm no expert, I do have a little experience on the matter ;) so here is my advice:

1) There will be days when it seems like you have nothing in common, but don't get down. Not every call will be stellar. Remember: there are days when you barely have the energy to have a dialogue with yourself, let alone have a dialogue with another person. 

2) Manage your expectations about what you can accomplish in a phone call. Don't expect to solve all your problems over the phone. Weekend visits, new technology like skype, and patience will certainly assist in that capability, but the phone isn't a miracle worker.

3) Use the phone to find out new things about one another. After three years on the phone, I was still learning new things about {cv} on a regular basis because I became more in tune with his emotions and his tone. In turn, I knew when to push his buttons and when to hold back ;) This has helped tremendously now that we're in the same place too!

4) Don't be that couple. FInd a happy medium between your friends and your significant other. Try to find opportunities to chat outside of the time when you're with your friends.

How do you think the phone helps {or hurts} a long distance relationship?

Thanks again to KT for having me--make sure to stop by {long distance loving} for lots more on long distance relationships and the long distance love affairs I have with clothes, home goods, and travel destinations I can't afford quite yet ;) xoxo {av}

Aren't those some great tips?! They definitely ring true for me in the time J and I spent apart over the years (including during J's first year of law school when I was in California with my family).

Thank you so much for sharing those tips with us, {av}! I think they are applicable for all of us who sometimes have to deal with absences of our significant other, whether it's short term during a business trip or longer due to other circumstances. Hope you all are having a great day!


  1. this is all so true! manu and i spent a year apart and still spend most summers separated for a month or two and we touch every base - phone, email, letters, skype, etc. you're right about being patient and trying to find common ground while being far away. asking questions and making the effort is hard at times, but it'll be worth it in the long run. :)

  2. Great guest post av! love your insights, myself never having been in a long distance relationship it's neat to learn about them! :)

  3. such a great post! it's all so true. my fiance and i are coming up on the end of 33 months of long distance. it's definitely not easy, but it's so worth it! he graduates in less than 4 weeks and moves to madison to be with me! we made it work by talking and texting throughout the day when we could fit it in, skyping almost every night, and never going more than a month without see each other. i am SO excited that the end is so close though!

  4. This post is great for new couples as well as those of us who have been together forever.

    My hubby was deployed and away from home for 16 months. We used our cell phones and Skype to keep in touch. We also had our young daughter who was 2 at the time. He had to watch her grow long distance.

    While the phone and Skype contact was a blessing, I think we both took more from the letters and packages we sent one another. It was a more tangible way of communicating and contact (touch), if that makes any sense!


  5. Phones helped me. My boyfriend and I were long distance for a full year while I was in college. So hard at time but so worth it!

  6. Great tip! My hubs and I wouldn't be together now without the phone and the Internet and thank goodness Skype!

  7. Long distance isn't the most fun, but it's definitely do-able! Great tips!


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